Its November and nothing has changed ...except the pain and the missing my son has only gotten worse. I suppose I should be used to time healing death but in this case..what can I say? what am I supposed to feel? My heart is broken and my soul has died.

A year and more has passed and I remember you like yesterday.

Kristina



I have nothing to say and everything to feel. I am trying to be strong and coherant and my normal self. But I really just want to sleep forever so that the pain goes away.

My son died on July 14, 2008. My beautiful, smart, talented, funny son. The only person who could come close to feeling the way I do is his adoptive parents Grace and Gary.

At 140am Dylan was driving home with his girlfriend Christian. She feel asleep and awoke to the car moving. Dylan had overcorrected after trying to avoid hitting something in the road. The car rolled over six to eight times before slamming into a tree.

My son died in the arms of his beautiful soulmate of three years.

The cruelest irony of my life, I was told when Dylan was younger by the adoption agency that he was dead..I never believed it. A letter from the adoption agency a year later confirmed the paperwork mistake.

When my oldest daughter found out about Dylan, she began the search on line for him, and there he was on Myspace.He was excited to find out about Deviant Art and opened an acount. You can view his work and photos under Avalon Rising.

Dylan welcomed his sisters and birthmom with joy and love. And so today...six months after the light and joy entered my heart and my life..he is gone. There is no crueler horror than to have a child be buried while the parents still walk this earth..than to have TWO sets of parents die inside over the his loss. I talked to Dylan online almost everyday and all the little things he had from me and all the wonderful things he had on his own made my own life better.

My daughters are in grief as I am. What am I to say or do? The gamet of emotions that run through me range from the sick and twisted to pain so blinding I lose my breathe in saddness.

I want my son back, his parents want him back, his girlfriend, his friends, his dog, my daughters needed him and loved him.

There is no reason. My heart is empty.

I love you Dylan. I never let a day go by not thinking about you. I will miss you forever.

Kristina